What’s our responsibility to other kids’ parents?

Because of Bark, we have found out concerning info about some of our son’s friends: 8th graders involved in sexting, sexual activity, and using pornhub. Although our son is not engaging in these activities (as far as we can tell), he is having conversations about them. We are wondering if we should reach out to the parents of the other kids to let them know, either vaguely or specifically, that some things are going on they may want to look into. In our state, sexting between minors has been considered a criminal activity due to the way the child pornography laws are worded, so in addition to the moral & developmental issues, there may actually be legal issues at play as well.

Has anyone encountered a similar situation? How did you handle it?

Same rules applies as if your child is in school. Third party would have to get involved, so there’s no heated arguments between each parent. Kind of what happened to my child, but actions weren’t done properly and the counselor’s at the school made lame excuses for a bully picking on my daughter. He grabbed her n said vulgar words towards her, and to my surprise it was going on most of the school year. I knew something was going on in that school, but the ones there watching over our children tried to seem the trouble was at home. I was told the boy that sexually harrassed my daughter was probably joking and that he didn’t put his hand up her shirt. So, I’m glad the school isn’t open because my daughter is SAFE NOW! BTW…I asked for the boy to be out of her classroom for one, and also if his parents was called and neither was done. I was so thinking on getting a lawyer, but what good would that do (meaning long out battle to put my child through). So I at least talk to another parent that my daughter is friends with her daughter, and low behold the boy was doing the same to her. I.m sorry for ranting, but parents I urge you to talk to your kids on what’s going on in school. My daughter was scared n it put her through some depression on wanting to kill herself. The school tried to make it sound as if I was the bad parent. My daughter wouldn’t take baths or eat much. The response I got from the counselor’s was we have a shower here at school n food bags. I’m sorry, but I’m not dirt poor, I have running water n food in my refrigerator. The only reason why I’m posting this, is because the school felt like turning me in to DCS, just recently. As the person enter my home and took pictures of running water and my cabinets/refrigerate…he was like wow…you have alot of food. As I said she was scared n depressed because no one at that school knew she was being bullied until almost 7 months later. As i told them on many occasions that i felt something was going on at school. There is allot more to this, but i think i gave enough. Be safe, and pay attention more to your children’s actions. My daughter is doing great, she’s much happier that she isn’t around that boy at school.

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I had a similar situation. There was a high school senior sending my then 14 yo messages that he wanted to see her p***y and other vulgar words. I sent the information to his school because I was unable to track down his parents. They would talk thru Snapchat and she said he didn’t send her inappropriate pictures, but I’m not convinced.

I also came across a series of messages where a friend of hers was saying some pretty disturbing things about harming himself. I don’t believe he would, but I reached out to his mother and told her I monitor my daughter’s online activity and she may want to talk to her son. If it were the other way around I would want to know.

They are tough conversations to initiate and have, but if there’s a parent who isn’t concerned about their kid’s online activity then that’s not a kid I want mine interacting with.

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In my 8th grader’s situation, I sensed a guy friend was not safe at home from a volatile dad. So I took a screenshot of what concerned me and sent it to “Safe2tell.” They simply asked for his name and school and took care of the rest. This is anonymous and puts the correct authorities on alert. This seems the most “safe” way to inform authorities, yet keep your child out of the “drama.”

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Thank you for sharing that! I didn’t know about that.

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Tell the parents ASAP

I think it depends … I’ve been the person who has told the parents and it has ended friendships. Not just for me but also for my child.

At the end of the day, you can’t control anyone else’s behavior; only your reaction to it. And that’s the view point I take with monitoring. I worry less what is being sent to my child and more how they respond to it or how it makes them feel. As sad as it is for me to accept, at some stage (and it’s already happened) my kid is going to be sent inappropriate stuff.

If there is not immediate danger or health and safety risk, then I think it’s a judgement call. I have lots of my kids’ friends’ parents say, “If you see something about my kid, tell me!” And to that I say, no, you don’t actually want to know because if you did, you’d be monitoring it yourself.

It takes a special friendship to actually have those tough conversations and walk away still friends and partners in values to help guide the kids.

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I am new to Bark and this is exactly what I am experiencing now. Please share which state has the rule above mentioned to bring it up to my kid? There is a lot of sexting and contents that I could not believe my Son is part of it. What to do next? Thank you!

Hi friends! Bark team here … :wave: … We’re so sorry to hear this is happening and know these are tough issues. In case it helps, we’ve put together this parent guide >> How to Help Your Child Through Common Issues

This article should help you regarding the differences in Sexting Laws by State:

Stay strong and reach out if we can ever be of assistance. We’re here for you! :orange_heart: >> help@bark.us

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