What do I do if I think my daughter is having sex?

I was taking out the trash in my daughters bathroom and much to my surprise I found the packaging for plan b (the morning after pill). We run a very safe household and have discussed the dangers of sex at such an young age. What should I do about approaching this with my daughter?

I would straight up ask her. Say ”i found this in your bathroom trash when I was emptying it.”

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Also, I’m so sorry you are facing this. I’m sure I would be out of my mind with anxiety.

How old is she? I would approach it from a loving, concerned angle. Is she alright? Was it consensual? What happened that she felt she couldn’t go to you for help?


She’s only 14 and we don’t date in our house at such a young age so I know it’s not a boyfriend

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May be time for birth control and some real life talks about sex. Stricter rules IMO. Like how did she find the space to be able to? Babies don’t need babies so you’re going to have to make some hard choices. Sorry Momma.

She is rather young, but as a parent, I would essentially find out for one, if she is dating?, sometimes even if us as parents don’t allow dating they will do it anyway, because that’s what teens do(not all). Second, she doesn’t have the trust in anyone to speak up about the circumstance, so is she “active” and with who? Was it consensual? Approach her in a loving way rather than with anger so she can find herself to trust speaking to you about it, because what better thing than our children to trust us as parents, with their most intimate life situations, specially as a mother being that she is a girl, girls should always feel that their mum understands everything & is always there for them.


I think I disagree with being gentle about how you approach her. That Gentleness should have been employed with the initial talks. She has betrayed your trust (depending on how the morning after kit is explained). I think a much stronger firmer tone that inspires a little fear is necessary at this point. The first time she sneaks is the hardest. Only gets easier to continue the behavior. So you need to be strong to stop it.

I recommend taking her to an ob/gyn. They will discuss this with her in an educational and non judgement environment. The goal now is to teach her safe sex practices and have her tested for potential sexually transmitted infections. She was educated enough about plan b, therefore she isn’t totally in the dark about her options. Involve both parents in the visit. The ob/gyn will also educate parents on the best plan of care for your child. Finally, I would notify the parents of the “partner”. They should take him/her for a visit to the pediatrician for the same type of educational/STI testing visit. Depending on the child’s age, they may or may not do a physical examination. This may relieve the stress of the unknown about the visit. Good Luck.

What a tough spot. I remember being a kid and having every excuse (and sometimes true) of it being a friends, or just being curious. Either way I’m sure I’d be a nervous wreck.

I don’t think there is one “right” way. But maybe celebrate that even if she did have sex she was smart enough to take plan B because she knew she didn’t want to get pregnant. Teenagers can’t be controlled, but maybe focusing on the potential win, rather than just the negative (of which there is much) will help you guys bridge this.