Upset about Bark?

My 12 year old knows about Bark because I never wanted to be sneaky. I choose to not bring up anything I read in Bark unless absolutely necessary (so far, it hasn’t) so she doesn’t feel like I am spying. I rather her tell me herself. Ariana is a great kid and uses social media wisely. But she sometimes gets emotional about Bark and says she feels I don’t trust her. I explain to her how I am not actually seeing a large majority of what she is texting unless a specific word is flagged and to think of the bigger picture - imagine what it could help prevent - suicide, school shootings, bullying?

Has anyone experienced this as well?

Hi, Stephanie! My oldest was 12 also when we began with Bark. I was also fully transparent about it. He was initially a bit sour about it, because while he has no social media and barely texts friends, he still felt (I suppose) that this meant I didn’t trust him and was possibly specifically looking for things to get him in trouble about. Like you, I thoroughly explained that I truthfully see very little (because he really doesn’t populate a lot of concerning alerts!) and that I felt he could agree this was more desirable than me going through his every text and web search myself (which of course I can and occasionally do). I explained also, it’s not necessarily his actions I am concerned about, but what or who could reach him, and he is still learning and it is still my job to teach. Honestly he has laxed about it entirely now. I truly think how parents address possible concerns makes a huge difference. I think this is completely normal of teens / tweens, and open communication and empathy really do go a long way. Hugs! We’ll get through these years! :muscle:

It seems normal to me also. Proceeding on the right course will have its own reward. When our kids see how we handle the information we receive, then they will know they can relax more. Unless they want to test or challenge us directly and intentionally go where we will need to discuss it with them, time and actual experiences will likely help reduce the fears.