Porn on IOS safari found, 9 year old boy

My son just got an IPod and last week his buddy came over and they built a fort outside and were looking up naked girls etc on Safari. Bark alerted me there was child nudity pics I had thought that meant of my son no they looked up naked girls and it bright up litter girls. But that wasn’t only site tons more came up and I wasn’t alerted so this continued for a few days till my husband caught his friend over and saw what they were looking at. Obviously his friend is very into this and is not policed by his mom. But this is all new to my son. He was sorry and was ok but I had to also get Net nanny as well. I can’t seem to delete the safari browser it’s greyed out so I’m not allowing him to use iPod for awhile. I was not mean and I don’t make him feel shame because it is only natural instinct but Porn is not a good way to introduce sex or anything related lol. Any advice as what I can talk about with him? I don’t want this to be something he tries to look up. Before his friend was gone out of state for all of the Christmas holiday and my son didn’t try to look up naked girls so I know it’s his buddy. SMH

Val,

I’m assuming you got an iPod touch and your device is up to date on iOS 13. With that said here you go.

  • Make sure your Apple account is a youth and associated to you.
  • Enable screen time on your son’s iPod - Settings > Screen Time. Set a pin that you know which you can access from your devices. Don’t share it and watch out for windows, mirrors and shadows’s that kids watch what is going on. If you put the pin on your kids device watch out for game recording to record what you press.
    • Screen Time immediately makes it so history on Safari can’t be deleted.
  • Go to Screen Time Content and Privacy and set Content Restrictions
    • Set Web Content to Limit Adult WebSite
    • Block sites entirely, like apkpure, dogpile, flickr, imgur, reddit, yandex, etc etc There are many lists out there that are good.
    • In Allowed apps you can remove Safari but limiting adult sites with Apples features is alright.
  • Net Nanny Browser is frustrating but can work.
  • There is Net Nanny child monitor and others that create VPN to their service and scan content - they are slow.
  • If you let your kid install apps don’t let them delete apps. This allows you to see what has been installed, you trust but verify. Also Screen time history goes away for apps that are deleted.
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If it was my boy, the first thing I would do is definitely try and limit what can be accessed. But that only goes so far. Regardless of what limits I can place, I have to come to the understanding that he is going to look at it no matter what. Either he is going to seek it out (especially as he gets older), or, he is going to have friends who are going to present it to him. This is going to be the reality no matter what you do. Under no circumstances though would I shame him for it or make him feel sorry for it.

At this point, I would have to make sure he understands, at a basic level what sex is and what it is used for. Both for babies and pleasure. My first conversation would be very basic, mostly about babies, and then follow up conversations would be more in depth. I would make sure he knows the difference between consensual sex and what two people do who love each other and what a fetish is. More importantly, he needs to grow up understanding the right way to treat a sexual partner, and that many of the things he would see online are more for fetish and does not show love or consensual sex between adults. How can he grow up understanding that the people on the videos are acting towards fetishes so he doesn’t grow up thinking thats what to lovers do, or worse. Seeing those videos without a proper understanding of what is going on is really crazy and can really distort interactions he has in the future if thats his base of reality.

Today we live in a hard reality. They will either seek out that reality, or it will seek them out through their relationships. Do what you can to prepare him for the real world and make no misconceptions that he is too young. Todays 9 is yesterdays 13. And its better that you help to form his understanding of things early on so he knows the difference between one thing he is seeing and another.

Don’t get my wrong, he is 9. So you have to do it in a way that he will understand. The other thing is, this is an ongoing conversation. Its not like you have the conversation once and thats it. You have to keep talking about it and each time, introduce a better understanding of it. With my daughter, I am always having discussions with her, all aimed at making her a better woman when she grows up and having the facts she needs so she is better prepared.

In the end, just do your best so he treats others with love and respect and knows that there is a side of the internet for fetish and pleasure. But 99% of whats posted does not reflect reality for most people. And he needs to understand that.

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We use covenant eyes on our devices as well as bark so even if they get around the filters it still monitors the background data and is very compatible with iOS…(I don’t use their browser but you can make that the only browser but even if they get around it it will still show up in the background data report)

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Open DNS Family Shield Configured on your WiFi router would help too.

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Thanks I’ll check it out when I get home!

Cool I’ll check that out thanks!

All good points. I didn’t shame but My husband grabbed the phone and made his friend leave so that kinda of made me ill because I would have not done that. I’m not always calm but when it comes to true issues and emergencies I can be calm oddly enough lol. So I quickly interjected and took over the convo to say calmly no ones in trouble etc I will need to have that talk with him about the difference between what’s online and real life for sure!! First I need to do the sex talk. Trying to figure out how to unload and how fast. Etc. He is definitely needing to know. Smh when I grew up things were different. However my husband is older than me and he said his dad just left dirty mags all over the house. That was also a thing back then.