Not sure what to do about Discord

My 15 year old is mostly always on discord. She shares soptify playlists and chats for the most part but I am getting many spotify alerts about drugs,suicidal content and violence. She has an iphone which means we can’t monitor discord. I’m considering asking her to delete it as it seems to be problematic or at least getting the password to check it manually (if she would even give it to me).

Any advice?

My 15 y/o is always on there too. The only way she’s allowed to be on there is with with me having her credentials. I login randomly and check up on her. This will be her 3rd attempt/account (last chance under my watch). She is aware that I check it and keeps her honest and open.

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Hi there. I have a 12yo who was just preyed on by a gamer on Discord. She got an iPad at Christmas and by Feb was just beginning to get on Discord. We didn’t know this person ‘found’ her on Roblox and then had her get Discord so he could groom her and expose her to all kinds of nasty pornographic anime. By the time we figured out why she was so withdrawn and depressed, this person had taken advantage of her and in my view stolen her innocence. We notified our local pd but they said basically grooming a child and exposing one to this type of pornographic anime is not a crime. So we are left to pick up the pieces.
Do yourself a favor and get your child off Discord. Very dangerous in my view and if it cannot be monitored, there is no way it’s going to be used in our house from now forward.

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My daughter has had similar experiences From discord that we only found out through someone spam calling her from another texting app. Unfortunately she never quite told us more about it which is why we got bark. Only things we were notified of were the music and some swearing. I would love to get her off discord but I don’t have the password and I’m sure she would login from a friend with how obsessed she is with it.

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My youngest was on discord a few years ago, and I discovered he was being cyber bullied. I took discord off his phone, and a month later he thanked me for doing so. He was 12 then. I think he’s still wrestling with those self esteem issues at times even now at 15 from that. I hate discord!

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So sorry to hear that. Good luck to you. I wish for you the best and hope your daughter opens up to you. When they push us away the most strongly, is usually when they need us the most. I heard that somewhere.

Take care

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I use bark but also have Our Pact for the kids iPhones. It is wonderful, you can see all apps on phone and set limits or even block them. It is $6.99 a month but well worth it.

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Hi, @Janet_Holub! Since you are already subscribed to Bark’s service, did you know that Bark also allows you to see all installed apps, as well as setting screen time limits, filtering, SafeSearch, etc.? It’s built right in to your subscription! :tada:

My daughter too, age 15 and now 16. She has a “leadership” monitor role and editor role. It’s totally foreign to me. They plan games and events and since she is very introverted it is appealing to her because it gives her a social outlet.
It seems to be quite addictive.

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So I wonder which parts of Discord can be monitored and which parts can’t? And what about the adults who provide this? Who are they, what is their goal and what safeguards do they provide if any?

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@drofarrell - Bark team here … :wave: Happy to answer your questions! On Android, Bark will monitor the Discord direct messages (text chat only) on private conversations between one or multiple users. Bark is able to monitor a few more features on Androids compared to iOS devices, because Androids are more open-source and third-party friendly, allowing the Android owners to grant permission to access this data.

And a little more about the Bark Team. :slight_smile: Bark’s monitoring tool was created because we saw a need to give our kids (we’re parents, too) as much privacy as possible, while still keeping them safer online. Keeping kids safer is our # 1 priority. We absolutely practice the highest of security and privacy standards, and will never misuse data in any way. Click the highlighted links below for lots of important information!

Security is a primary concern for us.

You can rest easy knowing you and your children’s data is secure.

You can find our Privacy policy here.

And read our story and meet our team here.

Hope that helps explain! Please reach out to our support team if you have more questions! We’re happy to chat and help! :nerd_face:

Thank you so much for that information. I’m so glad to have Bark to rely upon.
I am Actually wondering who Discord is: who are the adults in charge and what protections do they offer? That is something I do not know and I should probably inquire on their website.

I’m very confident in Bark and thank you again for all you do.
Dot.

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My 12 year old daughter lost ALL electronics ie computer, phone and tablet all because of discord. Discord is not for kids at all. I a 43 year old using discord for internet protocol and that crap I see on there is just so disappointing as a parent.

I thought that they have to give their “gamer tag” or user name or whatever to chat to people on discord? My son has a few contacts on there that are his real life friends and that’s it… can anyone else actually send him anything?!

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If he joins servers he can talk to anyone without the gamer tag. The whole appeal of discord is that you can join things similar to chat rooms but you can also private message voice and video chat and play games.

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Discord was a site my 13 year son was hiding porn in. I don’t suggest allowing this.

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Discord is bad predators use it to find a way to talk to the kids

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Hello. Discord is another demonic Avenue for children to become prey. I disconnected and deleted my 16yr olds account. If he logs on to any social media or signs up, he gets his phone, laptop or anything that can connect him to social media taken for an undetermined amount of time.

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Another discord nightmare. If you have iOS, block it with screen time as an ‘unauthorized’ app.

My 13 yo daughter was groomed by an older teen as well. They get addicted to the instant attention.

My son went into Discord and came out a whole different kid (a little exaggeration). Anyone can respond, anyone can chat, anyone can create their own chat rooms. There is “grooming“ of all types that happen (not only sexual). If you’re ok with only reacting and not preventing exposure to all realms of the world, then it might be ok for your household. I know exposure is going to and needs to happen, but I’d rather help my kid navigate through it, not perfect ADULT strangers or other naive kids. So thankful Bark brought everything into the light. We took it way back to “Don’t talk to strangers” when it comes to chatting. As the parent, I get first say of what an informed decision is in my children’s lives. My experience: Discord deleted. (14 y/o, 9 y/o, 6 y/o)

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