How to handle tech rules with kids other than your own

"My 11-yr-old daughter says that whenever she hangs out with her friends, they mostly want to play with technology, mostly phones but also iPads, computers, gaming systems etc. She says that she tries to ask them to spend some time off technology but they basically say no (with some exceptions, like going in the pool).

It’s hard as a parent to tell someone else’s kid to get off technology, because then kids won’t want to come over to your house!

I’m curious how others handle this. Thanks!"

:star: Original post here:

" When my 11 yr old has friends over I ask them the leave their iPhones or whatever in the kitchen. They aren’t allowed upstairs. So that solves the problem at our house. So far all of her friends have been okay with that. Just to add my 11 yr old doesn’t have a phone. She thinks it so annoying when her friends are on theirs all the time. She does have an iPad, and is on group chats with school friends… but she also thinks all the texting is annoying. Guess I’m lucky!"

:star: Original post here:

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We just make it clear what the rules are here, and her friends respect that. There’s never a shortage of things to do, so they just find other activities. I think my daughter was more worried about how it would come across when she says things like, “We don’t allow TikTok in our house.” But it was never a big deal. Instead, they have Karaoke parties, which are a lot more fun to them! Just be clear and set the expectations, and I don’t think you’ll be the uncool mom. :wink:


Love that!! Thanks for your advice

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My daughter is 11 too. She was having this same issue when she was at sleepovers at other girl’s houses. She has a phone and can text put no social media. She was having a hard time getting them off IG and TikTok when at their houses. What I’ve discovered is that those same girls are more than willing to drop those electronics when they are at house for playdates or sleepovers. I also plan a fun activity for them that distracts them from the electronics. We always bake something together as a group (cookies, cakes, etc.) or I do a spa party with pedicures and masks. Several girls have commended that it’s more fun to sleep over at house. I think deep down those girls that have unlimited access to social media are tired of it. They actually crave interaction with parents, whether they recognize this or not! :slight_smile:


Yeah, I have the same issue with my oldest. I’m definitely not the “cool parent”… and that’s okay. The friends we have over for a sleepover we know well, and also know their parents well. So parents are on the same page and kids know the rules. Devices are taken away at said time and it’s okay. They may pout :unamused: but oblige.