Am I the only parent monitoring my 14 year old?

You are not the only one that does this I do this also. I use Verizon smart family and McAfee say Family♥️ and I have In Touch GPS on my sons truck. It takes a lot of my time to do this but I want to know what they’re doing and when they’re doing it and that they’re telling me the truth with what they’re doing. I adopted five grandkids so they are all teenagers nowYou are not the only one that does this I do this also. I use Verizon smart family and McAfee say family and I have In Touch GPS on my sons truck. It takes a lot of my time to do this but I want to know what they’re doing and when they’re doing it and that they’re telling me the truth with what they’re doing. I adopted five grandkids so they are all teenagers now to have left home and I still have three and with all the things going on in schools nowadays it’s a lot to keep up with. I wish I could find appropriate app that lets me monitor and read my kids text messages on their iPhones that’s the only thing I cannot do and I want to do. I do take their phones and read them and I have them blocked from downloading any apps because I don’t allow social media at all so I’m pretty strict but I feel you need to be in your kids business until they’re old enough to run their business their self

How can you read the text messages?..I only have the 360 life, but would like to monitor his incoming texts

It’s tough when they’re already teenagers. My son is 14, and I just recently learned of Bark through his school. From the time he got his phone last fall, I have had the rule that it stays in my room at night. He’s made the comment that he thinks I look at it every night, but I’ve assured him that’s not true. I spot check it and talk with him if I find problems. Once I got Bark, though, I explained that I got it because I really want to be able to give him more privacy, but it’s important for me to still monitor him for protection and teaching. Bark allows me to do that without having to get deep into the mud of his personal interactions with friends. Bark looks through his stuff with a fine-toothed comb so I don’t have to, and it only alerts me if there are potential issues. When a serious issue was discovered a little over a week ago, I confronted my son, and he got really mad. He accused me of stalking him. I assured him that wasn’t true but let things cool down a little and then talked with him more. He lost SnapChat forever because of the incident (I wasn’t so sure about it from the beginning but was trying to give him a chance), but we had some good conversations, and the alerts have gone way down since then! The respect seems to have gone up too. I think he’s understanding that I really am trying to allow him to live his life but that it’s my responsibility to make sure he’s learning good things like how to handle certain temptations and how to communicate with girls. He’s a teenage boy and is going to continue to make some pretty dumb decisions as he’s feeling things out and learning, but I pray they’re not decisions that can ruin his life! Bark is helping me manage that, and I’m very grateful!

I encourage you to have an open dialogue with your nephew. It can be hard, especially at first, but the ultimate goal is to teach our teens to be responsible adults. That won’t happen over night, and it won’t happen through wishful thinking or a very hands-off approach to parenting, just like it won’t happen by overprotecting them and doing everything for them so that they never learn to do things on their own. I find that parenting is all about balance. I’m not sure I ever feel completely balanced, but praise God for the small wins and the occasional big one!

Definitely not alone. We use Boomerang, Life360, and are testing Bark now for my 14yr. daughter and 15yr. son. We also use Windows Family Safety and OpenDNS at home. We’re pretty permissive, and this setup gives us good control over things during both the good times as well as when consequences need to be applied…

I have to say I would take my kid’s description of the scenario with a grain of salt. Before going off on what a moron the teacher is, be sure that’s actually what was said.
Because my school district actually provides bark to all parents.

Part of mentoring is modelling good behaviour. With that in mind, I would allow them to see my content.

I would be giving that teacher a phone call. I monitor everything Nd my son does online. He is 12. At some point, I will stop but I feel like at least for now, he needs my protection.
If I had a daughter, I would monitor just the same but feel like I would do it through her entire teenage life. I would be too protective.

I am monitoring my almost 14 and 7 year old. Better safe than sorry

I’m monitoring my 12 year old and my 14 year old, and I will continue to monitor them until they are 18. It’s not about whether we trust our kids or not. It’s more about not trusting others in the world. It’s about being a parent and knowing what’s going on with our kids. It’s about safety. It’s about doing our jobs to protect our kids.

How we handle the information that comes from the monitoring suggests whether we are helicopter parents or not. If we pull our kids aside every single time that something gets said or at any little concern, that might be a little much but monitoring is not.

As far as this teacher is concerned, I would tell them that what you do and what tools you use to parent your child is your business and no one else’s unless they are being harmed in some way and that they should stay in their lane. It’s not like you’re saying they have to keep off of devices or social media completely.

I’m appalled by that response. I recently read an article by a middle school principal saying that he applauded parents for monitoring their children’s phones/accounts. Because what he sees is disturbing.

My children have iPhones bc of my ability to monitor things. But I recently got Bark bc I had a feeling their were fake accounts and things being deleted. And I was sadly right.

I’m actually monitoring my 14- almost 15 year old niece only after the internet chewed her up and spit her out. It’s a very sick world out there. I say the younger the better to start monitoring and continue to do so until they can make good decisions or it’s out of your hands.

@carajsandell We’re so sorry to hear this happened to your niece! The internet can be a scary place! We’re glad to hear you are engaged and on her side. Keep up the good work and reach out if there’s ever anything we can do. We’re here for you!

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Eek! I’m in the same boat as you… these kids Are at a risk more than we ever were!! Sadly! I’m scared to death of what I’m failing on for our kids!!!

Globally, our children are at a risk because of the “global pandemic” but personally, the global pandemic is only mirroring the “cyber-pandemic” hitting our kids.

Our kids are at risk. Our kids, kids, are at risk.

You’re not alone, this “cyber-pandemic” is real…and I’ll be damned if my kids are victim to this!

Be strong mama!! I support you!!

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Well said @christi.oboyle! “cyber-pandemic” is right. I’m going to make that part of our hashtag deck :smile:

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My daughter is 14 and I use Bark and Life360 also. I am a single mom and work. I don’t see any reason not to monitor. It is my job to protect her and teach her. If something pops up we have discussions about it. Kids are not going to go to their parents about everything. This way I know what is going and can decide if what does pop up is important to talk about or not. Good job Mom. Screw the teacher, this isn’t her kid.

I love this conversation!!! I love that Bark allows close monitoring and opens up opportunities for parents to engage in conversations with their kids about what is out there. I am a speech therapist and I work with students up to high school. Kids often have a difficult time answering questions and making decisions because conversation and weighing the consequences has never been modeled for them. Monitoring, not locking down their devices allows for them to be the professional mess makers they are until the a safety net is no longer needed to catch them when they make mistakes.