Sorry, I’m late to respond. However, I do want to advise that no matter how much you have an open communication about the social media, my experience is that these teens will find a way to communicate appropriately without the Instagram and Snapchat.
My daughter lost all social media privileges since she was 13 and she is now 15. Our stress level in our home has dropped immensely and her participation with the family has increased! Her attention to school, grades and homework much improved! She has given up asking for it back. She still can text and group text her friends. She is not “disconnected” from the world. She even directly calls and speaks on the phone with her friends! Amazing! I wish that we never allowed her to get those accounts. It was nothing but a huge headache and nightmare! From my experience with two teenage daughters, I’ve noticed that kids
are more free with their bullying and comments in written form through social media than they are vs speaking to kids verbally. They don’t hesitate and or think about their actions before they post. However, if they had to talk face to face to their peers, guaranteed they would not be “saying” what they write.
You are not crazy! Hold steadfast to your belief that she doesn’t need that social media.
As for her not letting her be friends with kids that have phones… good luck with that. She will never have a friend!
Just remember, if they are at your house, it’s your house rules. Limit phones and tell the kids the phones can be on the counter and at all times and they can periodically check in. Amazing results when you put the Uno cards in front of them and suggest they actually play!
My daughter is 15. Makes good grades, liked by her teachers, has lots of friends even cleans the church. I got into her Snapchat account and…it was like I didn’t even know who she was. - it was AWEFUL!
Plus, Snapshot almost promotes bad behavior by permitting messages to disappear…and…the kids hooked with the whole “streaks” game.
One of the worse mistakes of my life A) getting my kid a cell phone so early , B) Permitting her to have Snapchat C) not getting super serious from the beginning regarding locking the phone down and leveraging third party apps like Bark.
Maybe I’ll get it right in the next life.
PS…until Snapchat cleans their act up…nobody should use it. One of the featured articles was “how to be good at oral sex” !
Oh my god! horrible I’m figuring it out. My daughter 10yrs old has Snapchat and I hate it too. She acts like the world is gonna end if she can’t keep it. Her group of 6 friends have it. I went back an fourth with her for a while delete it! okay you can have it, delete it! I need to know what she’s posting/talking about. It erases as soon as you open it so sometimes I miss the post.
My daughter is 12 and had a phone…and had SnapChat. Much like other parents responses it was the worst and since she hasn’t had her phone for over a month our life has been so much better. I’ve deactivated most of her social media accounts and am limiting what apps she will be able to use when she gets her phone back. Unfortunately we discovered a month ago that she was being targeted through SnapChat by adult men… and are currently working with law enforcement to track them down and see what can be done to these individuals. I kick myself almost everyday that I even got her a phone in the first place and that I let her play Roblox (that’s how these individuals initially got in contact with her and then moved to SnapChat). Please please be careful and question every program, app, game that your child uses. I hate that I wasn’t insistent enough to question everything. That will not be the case moving forward.
Snapchat is awful. I thought I was pretty good about monitoring my daughters phone. I’m a pretty strict parent. I talk to my kids about stranger danger and dangers of social
Media. My daughter is a good kid never been in trouble, I get praised constantly about how good my kids are. I don’t say this to be cocky. I say it because when I did some real digging I was sick to find what I had on her snap acct. if I could turn back time I wouldn’t even have given her a phone. So no your not crazy. But hell if crazy saves your daughters life then I’ll take crazy all day. Don’t budge on Snapchat.
You are not crazy. I believe it’s too young. My son is almost 16 and I still won’t let him get Snapchat
Not crazy at all. Most teens don’t even need Snapchat. There’s too many inappropriate things on there. NO child should ever have Snapchat for any reason.
I’m still of the mind that no one needs Snapchat unless they are either cyber bullying or sexting. I know I’m wrong, but honestly there is no reason for it where any other medium is better (Marco Polo, Texting, iMessage, google hangouts, etc.). No one in my family uses it (wife and I included) because it’s frankly worthless in my opinion. Even WhatsApp is better cuz it has a web interface. Either way good luck, you’re not crazy, but it’s a tough convo with you and your kid.
My 15 year old doesn’t even have Snapchat. I’m sure most of his friends have it, but he knows our rules and never even asks. My 14 year old daughter doesn’t either and I know all of her friends use it. They find other ways to communicate.
Nope. You’re not. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook… none of it is okay at that age, in my opinion. But I’m also the mean mom. They’re too young for any of it.
As long as my kids are living in this house they will not have Snap Chat or Instagram. Period. Both sites are not meant for kids. They are very much oriented towards sexting and other adult content. I’m a rideshare driver and let me tell you that most parents have absolutely no idea what their kids are into these days. I see this unedited behavior on a daily basis. Kids 14 years old are sneaking out of their houses at 2 or 3 in the morning and Ubering to other people’s houses. I could tell you further stories, but I choose not to go into further details. Simply put: if your child has Snapchat or Instagram you need to delete the accounts immediately. You are asking for trouble if you don’t. Do you know where your kids are? I do.
I agree 100% with you. My daughter is the same age I two girls and they talked about how embarrassing it is. So I had to explain why. Too bad there not many parents like us. No judgment to those who let there kids but now a day you can’t be careful enough.
I agree with the no way to Snapchat. What nobody has mentioned Aside from the content is it’s an addiction, it sucks them in without them even knowing it or having any control b/c they are not fully developed. I have 3 teens and the oldest got Snapchat but like another parent she became obsessed and taking it away is like I am murdering her and she goes into a reclusive depression. SO…my others will never have it. It is a battle b/c of everything already discussed …everyone has it, I’m the only one, blah blah blah. The answer is no. It’s hard and riles us both up fighting but I refuse to budge. It’s worth the fight and non-negotiable IMO
My son is 11 and just got his first phobe a couple months ago but before he even got it i told him no to snapchat and he didnt understand or like it very much but i just explained to him that when it was created it wasnt meant for children to use just cause everyone does now doesnt mean he will rhe platform like some others have said is just not built for monitoring. And i dont feel guilty because that is our job to protect them which means monitoring them I wouldnt let him go somewhere i didnt know where he was going and that i couldnt check out the same applies for the internet. Stay strong and know that even if she is upset now you mom knows whats best and youre helping her by protecting her.
As a middle school counselor who has had to help kids sixth through eighth grade navigate and manage the consequences of Snapchat (sending nudes, pornographic videos, threats, etc), you are doing the right thing by not allowing your child to have Snapchat. My sixth grader knows to not even ask. Adults can’t even appropriately use most social media, so why are we expecting our children with developing brains to be mature enough to handle it? I often find that it’s the parents who don’t monitor or don’t expect their kids to do something like that who have kids guilty of sending things, saying things, and requesting things that get them into trouble.
My daughter used to have the iPhone and the snapchat. And then a whole bunch of things unfolded - long story short, she is 14 soon to be 15. No longer has a phone, access to internet without supervision and no social media PERIOD. And the “best friend” we thought was a good influence turned out not to be so she’s no longer allowed to associate herself with her. Sorry not sorry, we are out child’s advocates. My house my rules. I do not think your crazy at all, go with your gut and stick to your guns mom
Yes yes yes. My daughter is 14…same thing!! Plus it can’t be monitored by a 3rd party like Bark. The only way I find anything is to take her phone without warming and open her snaps. I despise this app. And I can block her installing it on her phone. But that won’t stop her from signing on on a friends phone. Smh
I am a pretty lient mom I like to think however, I explainsd to my son when I finally got him a smart phone vs trac phone. That he could have youtube and games etc but was not allowed to have social media accounts , and I explained why, even up to 18 I dont feel kids are ready yes it can be fun, but kids are mean and behind social media they are braver to be meaner, kids also socialize less in person, I know friends share jokes and show him there pages but since he never had one he has seen first hand all the drama it comes with having them, he 14 now and says he bot bothered in the least that he dosnt have one , I have a good kid but he is also a kid so I feel its up to every parent but each child is different. Good luck
Hi Dara, first off your gut feeling is definitely on point:heavy_check_mark: I am a YouTuber, blogger and social media influencer. I have a very unique perspective on this because unlike many YouTubers and social media influencers in this day I am 30 and grew up in the age of playing outside and not being subjected to all of the sexualization, ads and pressure to look a certain way, have a certain opinion, etc that social media can expose you to. With that being said, I have a fairly big following and my kids who are 10 and 9 have only known me as YouTuber mom so they are very familiar with what I do and they are also aware of the dark side of what I do and the people who come in contact with me, etc. Obviously I only share age appropriate information with them. Because I have this perspective I can honestly say children should not in any fashion have social media. It is not designed for children. Even though I make content that is family friendly, there are many others that do not. I see the impact that YouTube and Instagram has on these young children when I read their comments, or when they message me personally to ask me about adult things instead of their parents. I think you’re absolutely making the right decision by not allowing your daughter to have Snapchat. As far as the friends, I will say this, my daughter (age 10) has many friends and almost all of them have phones, however because of what I am teaching her at home and because she does have this insight to behind the scenes of social media because of her mother’s job, she will often remind her friends to stay off certain apps and explain to them why she doesn’t have a social media or SnapChat. There are kids in this world that do not have phones at this age however in my experience they are going to be very hard to find them and instead of fighting it, I would really try to educate your child on why it’s so important not to have social media and Snapchat right now at this age. There are awesome things about social media, but those things are things you don’t really want/need until you are an adult. For example contacting family that is far away. If your child wants to speak to Grandma then they can totally do that under your supervision, with your Snapchat video, they do not need to have their own Snapchat. I hope this helps and if anyone has any questions, I do get quite a lot from my friends because I do work in this industry, please feel free to ask
I told my 11 year old last Fall that SnapChat is out of the question as long as he lives in my house. He brought it up again and I threatened to take away his iPhone.
The app was literally started to allow college students to send provocative pictures knowing they’ll delete themselves. I’m a tech savvy Dad with experience in Social Media and SnapChat literally has zero perks for kids, except for them being able to hide their discussions, or if they’re teens, send pictures of their privates. Adult film stars have also moved their business to SnapChat since Facebook and Instagram don’t allow that type of content. If he wants to msg with his friends then he has text messaging.