Am I crazy for not letting my 10 year old have Snapchat?

“I was driving the car pool for my 10 yr old daughter and her 2 friends, listening to their conversation and the 2 friends showing my daughter snapchat the whole ride. At home she launched a lengthy debate on why she should get snapchat. She isn’t allowed any social media. I decided I want her to have friends who don’t have phones. Is this crazy (maybe just naive)? Do these kids exist?”

:star: Original post here:

" They do exist but I’m not sure that it’s in the best interest of our kids to choose their friends or distance themselves from culture we don’t necessarily agree with. I just try my best to explain why our rules are different and teach my kid good judgement. Not all kids with Snapchat are bad kids either. :slight_smile: <3

(But I do feel your frustration :wink: )"

:star: Original post here:


My gut says, “Hell no, you’re not crazy; Snapchat is too difficult to monitor and too easy a platform for bad things to happen to kids.”

But my more rational mind says that this is probably better handled as an ongoing discussion between you and your daughter. Does she have her own phone already? (I’m wondering because you said you wish her friends didn’t have phones.) Whether she does or not makes a big difference in what the next steps are for the two of you.


I thought Snapchat was worse than Instagram so I made my daughter delete her Snapchat account and only use Instagram. She’s upset and says more of her friends use Snapchat. Ugh. I now think Instagram is just as bad with the chat/group chat/video chat. What IS a mom to do ? My daughter is 13, in 8th grade.


I’m the parent of a 15.5 year old daughter. She has Snapchat. It is how moist tweens and teens communicate. Almost impossible to monitor as a parent. I hate it. She loves it. It’s also how she was able to sneak around the parental controls: The kids will type text onto a photo and direct message the photo to other kids. Virtually impossible for anything to track

In hindsight, I would’ve delayed social media for as long as humanly possible… It has not been an easy path for the last year and a half for us. And she is a “straight A” student. Good luck - i wish you all the best!


Stay strong and don’t.
Get a snap yourself and see how many clicks it takes to get into a dark place.


Sorry, I’m late to respond. However, I do want to advise that no matter how much you have an open communication about the social media, my experience is that these teens will find a way to communicate appropriately without the Instagram and Snapchat.
My daughter lost all social media privileges since she was 13 and she is now 15. Our stress level in our home has dropped immensely and her participation with the family has increased! Her attention to school, grades and homework much improved! She has given up asking for it back. She still can text and group text her friends. She is not “disconnected” from the world. She even directly calls and speaks on the phone with her friends! Amazing! I wish that we never allowed her to get those accounts. It was nothing but a huge headache and nightmare! From my experience with two teenage daughters, I’ve noticed that kids
are more free with their bullying and comments in written form through social media than they are vs speaking to kids verbally. They don’t hesitate and or think about their actions before they post. However, if they had to talk face to face to their peers, guaranteed they would not be “saying” what they write.
You are not crazy! Hold steadfast to your belief that she doesn’t need that social media.
As for her not letting her be friends with kids that have phones… good luck with that. She will never have a friend!
Just remember, if they are at your house, it’s your house rules. Limit phones and tell the kids the phones can be on the counter and at all times and they can periodically check in. Amazing results when you put the Uno cards in front of them and suggest they actually play!
Good luck


My daughter is 15. Makes good grades, liked by her teachers, has lots of friends even cleans the church. I got into her Snapchat account and…it was like I didn’t even know who she was. - it was AWEFUL!

Plus, Snapshot almost promotes bad behavior by permitting messages to disappear…and…the kids hooked with the whole “streaks” game.

One of the worse mistakes of my life A) getting my kid a cell phone so early [12], B) Permitting her to have Snapchat C) not getting super serious from the beginning regarding locking the phone down and leveraging third party apps like Bark.

Maybe I’ll get it right in the next life.

PS…until Snapchat cleans their act up…nobody should use it. One of the featured articles was “how to be good at oral sex” :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth:!


Oh my god! :cry:horrible I’m figuring it out. My daughter 10yrs old has Snapchat and I hate it too. She acts like the world is gonna end if she can’t keep it. Her group of 6 friends have it. I went back an fourth with her for a while delete it! okay you can have it, delete it! I need to know what she’s posting/talking about. It erases as soon as you open it so sometimes I miss the post.


My daughter is 12 and had a phone…and had SnapChat. Much like other parents responses it was the worst and since she hasn’t had her phone for over a month our life has been so much better. I’ve deactivated most of her social media accounts and am limiting what apps she will be able to use when she gets her phone back. Unfortunately we discovered a month ago that she was being targeted through SnapChat by adult men… and are currently working with law enforcement to track them down and see what can be done to these individuals. I kick myself almost everyday that I even got her a phone in the first place and that I let her play Roblox (that’s how these individuals initially got in contact with her and then moved to SnapChat). Please please be careful and question every program, app, game that your child uses. I hate that I wasn’t insistent enough to question everything. That will not be the case moving forward.


Snapchat is awful. I thought I was pretty good about monitoring my daughters phone. I’m a pretty strict parent. I talk to my kids about stranger danger and dangers of social
Media. My daughter is a good kid never been in trouble, I get praised constantly about how good my kids are. I don’t say this to be cocky. I say it because when I did some real digging I was sick to find what I had on her snap acct. if I could turn back time I wouldn’t even have given her a phone. So no your not crazy. But hell if crazy saves your daughters life then I’ll take crazy all day. Don’t budge on Snapchat.


You are not crazy. I believe it’s too young. My son is almost 16 and I still won’t let him get Snapchat

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Not crazy at all. Most teens don’t even need Snapchat. There’s too many inappropriate things on there. NO child should ever have Snapchat for any reason.


I’m still of the mind that no one needs Snapchat unless they are either cyber bullying or sexting. I know I’m wrong, but honestly there is no reason for it where any other medium is better (Marco Polo, Texting, iMessage, google hangouts, etc.). No one in my family uses it (wife and I included) because it’s frankly worthless in my opinion. Even WhatsApp is better cuz it has a web interface. Either way good luck, you’re not crazy, but it’s a tough convo with you and your kid.


My 15 year old doesn’t even have Snapchat. I’m sure most of his friends have it, but he knows our rules and never even asks. My 14 year old daughter doesn’t either and I know all of her friends use it. They find other ways to communicate.

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Nope. You’re not. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook… none of it is okay at that age, in my opinion. But I’m also the mean mom. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: They’re too young for any of it. :-1:


As long as my kids are living in this house they will not have Snap Chat or Instagram. Period. Both sites are not meant for kids. They are very much oriented towards sexting and other adult content. I’m a rideshare driver and let me tell you that most parents have absolutely no idea what their kids are into these days. I see this unedited behavior on a daily basis. Kids 14 years old are sneaking out of their houses at 2 or 3 in the morning and Ubering to other people’s houses. I could tell you further stories, but I choose not to go into further details. Simply put: if your child has Snapchat or Instagram you need to delete the accounts immediately. You are asking for trouble if you don’t. Do you know where your kids are? I do.

I agree 100% with you. My daughter is the same age I two girls and they talked about how embarrassing it is. So I had to explain why. Too bad there not many parents like us. No judgment to those who let there kids but now a day you can’t be careful enough.

I agree with the no way to Snapchat. What nobody has mentioned Aside from the content is it’s an addiction, it sucks them in without them even knowing it or having any control b/c they are not fully developed. I have 3 teens and the oldest got Snapchat but like another parent she became obsessed and taking it away is like I am murdering her and she goes into a reclusive depression. SO…my others will never have it. It is a battle b/c of everything already discussed …everyone has it, I’m the only one, blah blah blah. The answer is no. It’s hard and riles us both up fighting but I refuse to budge. It’s worth the fight and non-negotiable IMO

My son is 11 and just got his first phobe a couple months ago but before he even got it i told him no to snapchat and he didnt understand or like it very much but i just explained to him that when it was created it wasnt meant for children to use just cause everyone does now doesnt mean he will rhe platform like some others have said is just not built for monitoring. And i dont feel guilty because that is our job to protect them which means monitoring them I wouldnt let him go somewhere i didnt know where he was going and that i couldnt check out the same applies for the internet. Stay strong and know that even if she is upset now you mom knows whats best and youre helping her by protecting her.